The Girl of my Dreams
by Miss MoKa
Summary: "For years we have been friends, but what she doesn't know is that I've always love her since the first moment I set my on eyes on her..." Hotaru thought bitterly. Will Chibiusa ever realize about her true feelings? Or must she keep them secret forever...?


_Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon, Chibusa or Hotaru- only the characters that don't feature on __Naoko Takeuchi__'s story and the plot._

_Ok people. I don't really like Chibiusa in the anime, but I've always thought of how there's a thin line between friendship and love in her relationship with Hotaru. Based on true events from my life, here's my interpretation of this. Hope you like it! And don't forget to review. _

_This story is dedicated to my love JRM. Without her, it wouldn't have been possible to write, merely because there wouldn't be any story to tell._

_..._

**The Girl of my Dreams**

"_Girl of my dreams, I love you,_

_Honest I do, _

_You are so sweet."_

_-from the book Farewell to Manzanar by Jeanne Wakatsuki_

"_You make my heart skip, but how?  
I'm scared  
What do I do now."_

_-from the song Girl of my Dreams by The All American Rejects_

The first things I remember are her eyes –those beautiful pink pools where I get lost. It might sound like a cliché, but it's the truth. I mean, the whole her is beautiful, but her eyes…. what can I say! Indeed when I met her I noticed her beauty and I only liked her, but then after some things we went through as friends, and people bombarding me with hints, at least for me it was inevitable to fall in love with her. Today I still try to analyze how is it that things happen the way they did, but the more I try the more I fail. So, I just let them occurred, and I couldn't be happier.

We met at school –technically- four years ago, in English class. I had just entered that school and was new to that class; obviously I was scared to death. That first day is only a blurry memory in my head, except for her. I do remember that among my other classmates I spotted her immediately –or was it my heart that spotted her? Anyway, _she _was there. After the shock her splendor gave me, I only did what an idiot does: stare at her. What else could I do? I wanted to talk to her, but didn't know what to say. The only viable thing I could come up with was watch her from the distance (can't tell exactly the distance's length). Recess came and she went out. Where? I don't know, but doesn't matter because I stayed at the classroom reading, since I didn't have any friends. Then again class started, and so I admired her while she wrote in her book. At the end of the day, I gave up.

But ha! If someone asks me if I do believe in love at first sight, I wouldn't know what to answer. However, what I'm certain of is that there was _something _between her and me since day one. What? Never going to be able to label it, but _something. _I was waiting outside school for Papa-Haruka to pick me up when _she _appeared. One more time, the nerve invaded me. While trying to ignore it, it seemed she took courage because she came forward and said to me:

"Hi. I like your shoes, very musical. You know, I like music too."

Perplex I looked at my shoes. Yes, they had music notes on them. Mama-Michiru gave them to me as a birthday present saying music should always be a part of me. How curious is that?

"Thanks, I guess." Quick Hotaru, say something intelligent. "I can see you like X-Japan from your T-Shirt."

"Yeah," she grinned "it is my favorite band."

Having exchanged barely these few words, I felt we hit it on. Unfortunately, just at that precise moment Papa-Haruka arrived.

"My father is here. Have to go. I suppose I'll see you next Saturday?" Hoping and waiting to talk to her again.

"I suppose so. See you next week!" she waved me goodbye with all her happy being. And so it was that the moment I climb in the car I thought _'Can't wait for next Saturday.' _

From that day on, not only did I want to go class to learn, but I had another reason as well –a secret reason. For it seemed obvious, as I started to hang out with her, that she would never be interested in me or any other girl. Yeah, unreachable girl. I bought this, and for years (that is till last year) I lied to myself that I didn't have a chance with her. How wrong I was. Nonetheless, she was so enthralled in her world that was clueless about my real feelings towards her. And during those years, our relationship was purely a friendship though more and more we became close friends and it all went out of control.

Funnily enough, much before anything more than friendship did happen, people around us thought we were more than friends –though she still wasn't aware. There's no point to tell the first two years of our friendship, since it's not relevant to the story. What is important is how and why it evolved into love. It all goes back to last year's summer, when I started thinking again about her. I was with some friends at a sleepover when one of them said to me:

"Hota-chan, do you like Chibiusa?"

I almost choked at such question. Chibiusa? My, yes! I have always liked her, but why was my friend asking that?

"What? Chibiusa?" I replied casually.

"Why not?" She chuckled. "She's your perfect match. She likes the same things you do, plus she's kinda your bestie, right?"

Certainly, even though we stopped seeing each other on Saturdays, we could say we were like best friends. So? That isn't a pass to the upcoming level with your friend. I mean, what if she rejected me? The friendship would fell apart. Besides, as I have said before, she was so sure she was into boys, not to mention she was obsessed with someone whose name was Helios. Yet that couldn't stop me from wanting her.

Summer ended briskly and school started again. I wanted to see her so badly and fortunately the first day of classes she had some free hours. Later I learned that since that day people assumed we were a couple, because of being always together at school. In addition, or to confirm that suspicion, every Thursday you could see us eating together at the school's cafeteria. Even one day, while waiting for her as usual at the cafeteria, a guy asked me:

"Are you waiting for your girlfriend?"

I was taken aback by this. "What?" Was the only thing I could answer.

"Aren't you waiting for that girl with pink hair?"

Uncomfortably I said: "Hmm yes, but she's not my girlfriend." How I wished she was!

"Oh really? I thought you were by the way you're always sticking together."

With all these, how could people not think that? My only defense was: "She's my friend, and that's what friends do, don't they?"

However, ever day was getting difficult to me to keep me from telling her the truth. September came and I started to give away some clues about my real feelings, but she didn't say anything! Desperate as I was, I asked a friend (another friend, not the same one who told me she was my perfect match) for some help:

"Misaki, guess what! I'm in love, and it's not from Sayame-kun." Sayame was a guy with whom I was dating, also from school.

Misaki always makes me laugh. It doesn't matter when you see her, she's always smiling, even though being angry or sad. This case wasn't the exception, for she was amused about that confession.

"Then who? Is it someone I know?" She was so anxious.

"You better. Remember my friend Chibiusa? Pink hair? Beautiful eyes?"

A wide smile spread across her face. "Her? Hota-chan, you should totally go for her! She's so pretty, way better than Sayame-kun."

I went red as a tomato. "I know that, that's why I like her in the first place. But you see, there's a little problem: I don't know if she _likes_ girls."

"Then ask her."

"I can't." I said sadly. "I'm too afraid of losing her if I tell her. Please help me and talk to her. I just need to know if a have a chance in the future."

"Sure." She assured me with her big smile. "I'll see what I can do…"

She was a lot of help. Actually she was the one that pushed Chibiusa down that way, asides from many other factors. Nevertheless, it wasn't that easy.

October came, and with that the turning point of everything. Firstly, we went to a party where we felt an intimate connection. Nothing spectacular occurred, except for one thing. By the end of the night, a guy was talking to her, trying to hook up with her, but I could tell she wasn't the least interested. So I went where they were (she sitting on a couch and the guy talking to her from another couch) and sat next to her. The only deliberate thing I ever did is leaning on her shoulder and feed her with popcorn. I mean, literally feed her. I had her so close to me, her mouth fully exposed to me- deliciously tempting- that I still wonder how I didn't kiss her then. In the end I took her to another couch to get some sleep and kissed her good night on the cheek, nothing else. Oh, but I was so in love with her! That night was the first one of dreaming about my Chibiusa.

The second event that changed everything happened a week later. For months I had been preparing a violin concert –with Michiru's-mama aid- and October 14th was the date. I utterly remember the day before seeing Chibiusa posting on her Facebook wall songs from the American Punk-Rock band Green Day with themes like falling for her and a certain extraordinary girl. Naturally, I didn't think they were dedicated to me. That was one her favorites bands, so she like those songs, didn't she? How innocent and blind I was! We even made fun about her liking me still if I hadn't had done well on the concert and stuff.

Concert day and with that the meaningful day. I was hell of a lot nervous, but it went wonderful! Despite all the audience, I only had eyes for her when bowing to thank the applause. Goddammit, she looked wicked hot! She was wearing a black long blouse, leggings and black boots. When she came to congratulate me I couldn't refrain from saying to her:

"You look great."

She blinked and said: "I made my best effort."

"Do you still like me?" I joked.

"Of course, how couldn't I?" After that, I didn't talk to her that much for the rest of the evening.

Now, during the consecutive week several things took place. On Monday, Chibiusa and I were sitting on the school's principal stair when Misaki came and started chatting with us. And then, unexpectedly, she asked Chibiusa:

"Are you gay Chibiusa?"

Chibiusa's pink eyes widen. Clearly she wasn't prepared for Misaki to come up with such a straightforward question with me there. I pretended I wasn't paying attention to their chat. Make no mistake I was holding my breath waiting for the answer.

"Yes… well, I really don't know." Chibiusa said hesitantly.

"Maybe you just need to find somebody you would like to try it with, like for example a close friend." My inner-self was yelling 'Me! Me!', but on the outside I was as nonchalant as possible.

"I guess so. It might take some time for that."

"Perhaps you'll find her sooner than you think." Misaki stand up and left, leaving Chibiusa and I in an awkward situation.

"I have to go." I managed to say. "I ought to be home by this hour."

Chibiusa's face was expressionless and her gaze lost. Was she angry? Offended? What was going thru her mind?

"Chibiusa? Did you hear me?"

Coming off the trance, her eyes fixed on me and in a careful manner, as if having picked specifically each and every single word, she finally said:

"I just wanna make clear, Hotaru, that if I'm gonna try it someday with a girl, she must be very feminine. I like girls that look like girls."

What? I was wearing a ribbon on my head and a pink blouse. Was I feminine enough? Either way, we said good-bye to each and went to our respectively regular activities.

On Tuesday we didn't see each other, neither on Wednesday. In fact, on Wednesday I went on a date with Sayame-kun and in the night I was gossiping all about it to Chibiusa on Facebook. Her reaction was like always, animated and supportive, as a friend's should be. Then that same night a friend in common invited us to go to the movies the next day. On Thursday we went all together. Again, the only move I did on purpose is leaning on her shoulder, to which she didn't object.

It was all going really well between Chibiusa and me. I was on my way to believing that our friendship was becoming special. Nevertheless, on Friday she broke my heart. That day I texted her in the morning:

"_Wanna come to my place this afternoon?" _

"_Sure! See you after class."_

When classes finished, while waiting for her outside school, I received another SMS from her.

"_Sorry, can't go today. Got a date with Helios-kun. See you on Monday!" _

My heart was crushed, but it wasn't her fault. After all, Helios was who she fancied. What was I hoping for? A princess like her would rather be with a simple and common girl than with Prince Charming? No, that will never be. Defeated, I went all alone to my house.

The rest of the weekend I stayed in my room and didn't go out. Papa-Haruka, Mama-Michiru and Mama-Setsuna tried to cheer me up in vain. Sayame-kun called me several times but I refused to see him. I didn't want to be with him, I only wanted my Chibiusa and she was gone. In reality, she wasn't gone for she remained my friend, but that special treatment disappeared.

Chibiusa talked to me on Monday at school. She was beaming about her date with Helios. She told me all about where they went and what they did (including kissing).

"I swear to you Hota-chan, he gives the most sensuous and hot kisses." Yuk! I don't want to know about that guy's tongue! "Does Sayame-kun give you that same feeling of melting?" Oh Chibiusa darling, if only you knew…

My secret crush for her continued- that never faded away. Sayame-kun became my boyfriend, yet my heart belonged to Chibiusa. As the months went by, I watched how that Helios enjoyed my Chibiusa and relished about it. Every time I saw them I went crazy with jealousness. I made my best effort to act as if everything was cool when I was dying on the inside. Because the pain was too much to bear, I distanced myself from her. Beyond any doubt, it was the most difficult thing for me.

One day, I was reading in my room when Mama-Michiru knocked my room's door.

"Hotaru honey, you've got a visitor."

"Who?" I wasn't in the mood to welcome anybody, including my boyfriend.

The door opened and there came Chibiusa, after weeks without seeing her or talking.

"Chibiusa? What are you doing here?"

"I thought I could pay you a visit. We are still friends, aren't we?" I didn't know what to say to that. Michiru-mama was still at the door as waiting for something to happen. Somewhere from the other room Papa-Haruka's hoarse voice was heard:

"Michi, leave the girls alone!" Having heard this, she giggle and left us alone. Chibiusa came closer to where I was (that is the bed). Dubiously I asked her:

"So how's everything?"

She looked at me and said very seriously: "Save it Hotaru. I came here to say to you that I just broke up with Helios, so we can be friends again." What the hell?

"Eh?"

"C'mon Hotaru, you were my best friend and ever since I started going out with Helios you suddenly stopped being my friend without further explanation. I recognize you didn't like him, but why?" Again, what the hell? Why after months was she saying this?"

I sighted. The moment had come. I had to spit it out.

"You really want to know why?"

"If you please tell me."

I threw myself at her and kissed her. I think she was first surprised by this, but then she gave in with the kiss. My whole body was burning with desire. I presume living with lesbian Moms do has some effect because I was familiar with what to do. Once I kissed her lips I went on kissing her neck and earlobes as my hands were slowly caressing her.

"Hotaru, what if…?"

"Shhh love, don't ruin it." Initially, I reckon she was feeling uneasy. On the other hand, she also wanted it. Why else would she be letting me touch her and taking off her clothes…?

The rest of the night is confusing for me. I perfectly know what I did and why, but I don't grasp how it got to that point. One minute I was in my bed and the next minute I was making love to Chibiusa. Was she expecting it or had she only come to be my friend again? What is more, did Papa-Haruka, Mama-Michiru and Mama-Setsuna plan it, be that the reason why they didn't bother us all night?

I got some of these answers later. The following morning, when I woke up, I found Chibiusa sleeping peacefully hugging me. She looked stunning, regardless of all her hair messed up. So adorable was she that I didn't want to wake her up. I sweetly kissed her forehead and whispered: "Good morning gorgeous."

Her pink pools startled me. "Good morning precious." She kissed me on the cheek.

"I'm sorry, but I have to ask after the weird night we recently had. Now what?" I asked.

"Now… we just let it be." She calmly replied.

"Excuse me?"

"Look Hotaru. What happened yesterday was what it was supposed to happen months ago, that day you invited me to come. I was stupid enough to stood you up and leave you for Helios. What was I thinking? Yes, he's meant to be my king, but truth is I don't want a king; instead I want a queen. I have been madly in love with you for a long time but I haven't realized until now. I choose you over Helios, in case you are wondering. I love you Hotaru and I don't want to lose you again."

Imagine how my heart was beating after hearing this. I pinched myself in case I was still asleep. It was all real. We were finally together.

There will always be people that support us and people that won't. Sayame was devastated and then hated me when I broke up with him. My three Moms were thrilled when they heard the news, while Usagi and Mamoru went flatly mad. Most of the times are happy ones, although evidently sometimes there are (and will be) hard times. But that is what love is. It has its ups and downs. We like to visualize our life in a future; we'll have two dogs and two cats –Lancelot, Wolfie, Ted and Sylvia- two children –a boy and a girl- and a house with a huge library. This is what we wish for, though there's a long way ahead. I love her, the girl of my dreams, and I can't wait to live all my life with her.

**The End**

_Miss MoKa_

_February 14__th__, 2013_


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